It’s going to feel like a challenge to talk to your wife about what’s going on but you absolutely must try. Unless you can identify her reasons for wanting to leave the marriage you can’t expect her to change her mind and stay with you.
And, to be honest, you probably are better off giving this process time to run its full course. Allowing him to miss you and miss your home is really in your best interest because this will contribute to your having his full cooperation in working things out.
Speaking of control, you’re going to need to have firm control over your emotions, at least to the best of your ability. Your husband has likely left because he perceives several things. He likely wants some time and space to think about how to proceed. He likely thinks that the relationship is at a point where it can not change for the better.
No matter what you decide that you ultimately want, it’s my experience that you will often have an easier time getting it if you focus on what is right in front of you rather than the manner in which it happened.
Even absolute commitment from both partners might not be enough to make a marriage last. When there’s a conflict, it’s very hard to stay in a calm and positive mood. This is even a harder thing to do when your spouse leaves you.
It’s also going to allow him some crucial time to think. It can be hard to focus on what we really want when we’re in the middle of a stress filled environment. Once he’s on his own he’ll have more than enough opportunity to reflect on his life and exactly what you mean to him.