If something deep inside of you is telling you that seeing other people is wrong and is something that you very much object to, then there is nothing wrong with standing your ground. Besides, he may be hoping that he can get you to see other people so that he will feel more justified in doing this himself.
Don’t be so hard on yourself right now. Being separated is scary and this can bring about negative emotional responses. Many times, both husband and wife are being driven by fear and frustration. So it’s safe to say that neither of you are going to be at your charming best.
But if you’re not seeing these positive signs, ask yourself if there are a few issues that keep coming up that you could either reevaluate or shelf for a while. Ask yourself if there is a way that you could get back on track. Evaluate if changing your responses or your attitude (even just a little,) could also change the outcome.
Many women feel as if they have to control every aspect of their husband’s life while he is away. They know that they are over reaching, but the fear takes over and they just can’t help it. Because they worry that if they back off and he has too much fun, meets someone else, or decides that he really is happy and content alone, then their letting go even just a little bit would have been a huge mistake.
Living your life doesn’t mean that you have given up on your marriage. It means that although you know and hope that things are going to change, you’re no longer going to put your life on hold while you are waiting for that change. Instead, you’re choosing to spend time with family, friends, and people who love you. And you embrace life and the things that bring you joy – even if you’re doing that solo for now.
Spending time with yourself just listening to your own thoughts and wishes will help you approach saving your marriage in a more genuine authentic way because it will make it more likely that you will both recognize and ask for what you want. It honestly helps when you approach your spouse as an equal partner.
After all, if they were still married and he was being intimate with other women, one could argue that this was adultery. The most important argument though was that this was well outside of the wife’s comfort level.
Always remember that your main goal is to maintain a good relationship so that you can eventually get him home. If you become angry and confrontational, you make this much less likely. So I believe it’s important to try to handle this in a light hearted and playful way.