The only thing you can do and is expected of you is to be a good step mom. Love your step kids as much as possible and never feel guilty or worry that it’s not enough. You may never love then as your own, but you can still love them for who they are.
You may not want another mother nor would your step mother want grown kid, but you both would need a friend. Be there for the person when she needs you and always show that you care about the welfare of the family.
Punishing mistakes or bad behavior is often the least effective technique for getting kids to behave. The most successful way to deal with potential problems is discuss with your wife ways to set reasonable expectations and what to do if they aren’t met. Limiting television, Internet use and cellphone calls if homework isn’t completed is one way to handle a problem.
Getting Emotional Support. Right now, you need a lot of this. Friends, family, support groups, all can be beneficial to helping you get through this. Even a therapist will help. If you don’t have a therapist, or medical coverage, or cant’ afford a therapist, there are support groups for you in your area that can refer you to someone to talk to.
Motherhood doesn’t end when your children reach adulthood. But, in order to be the best mother possible, your parenting style should respect the individuality of your adult children. You’re motherly advice is still valid, but it’s essential to remember that you’re now speaking to an adult, not a toddler or an adolescent who has no idea what the adult world is like.
Many times, the only thing that will get through to children that you are not there to take their parent’s place or that you’re not the bad guy is time and proof. Older children will see how happy you have made their parent and that you’re really a good person. As they start to realize this, they will probably begin realizing that it’s safe and okay to form bonds with you. They may start to speak with you a little bit more, ask you to play with them or take them somewhere.